[may-december] for and against

Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones faced the question in Entrapment.

Much has been written against and some for the chances of May-December:

1] I speak with authority. I spent 41 years of torture with a man 20 years older than I did, because I did not believe in divorce. Older men have their mind-set established and the wife can either follow or be miserable. I have yet to see a happy May - December marriage.
2] Almost half the couples in the United States divorce, and most of them are close in age. It is love that is the center of everything, not the number of years since your birth. It is love which creates alignment and balance between two people.
3] More reasons against and a fairly dispassionate view here.

Given, for argument’s sake, a 20 year old difference, that neither was a cheat, an egoist nor had personal problems, it seems to me it might work if:

1] It was 55-35, not 40-20 and her children were late teen;
2] They were both drawn together, [as in Connery-Zeta Jones in Entrapment], by some common thread or through some joint work or passion;
3] The love came more strongly from her, he wasn’t a sap for her and was a bit of a catch anyway;
4] She already knew his limitations and he was as honest with himself ;
5] They agreed to let go and review it every, say, five years.

I think it would have no chance if:

1] Her motive was for money, a father figure or a ticket to ride;
2] He lusted after her or loved her far more;
3] Their interests were quite different;
4] Their body language vastly differed e.g. her bouncy, he ponderous;
5] She was too young.